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How to prepare for the first time?

Published 28.04.2020 - 28.04.2020 klo 10:35 - Produced by Family Federation of Finland
First time is almost always stressing, whether it is about walking hand-in-hand, kissing, caressing sex, stripping naked in front of another, or intercourse. There are many first times in life, as the experiences are new and exciting in every new relationship.

Studies show that approximately half of 18-year-olds have not experienced their first sexual intercourse yet. Other sexual experiences and first times may be experienced a little earlier. The first time you have sex can be experienced as planned in an intimate relationship or spontaneously with a one-night-stand. In both situations, stress is often reduced if you feel safe.

A sense of security in sex often comes from having a conversation connection with the partner and both can express their feelings and thoughts relative to the first time. When you can trust to be heard and respected, it is also easier to enjoy sex.

Thus, it is important that all parties want to have sex and participate in it out of their own free will. As a result of sexual desire, arousal is also easier and sex is more likely to feel good.

When you learn and experience sex for the first times, your actions often feel insecure and clumsy. Own performance can even be stressful. It may help if you remember that you are allowed to be inexperienced when it comes to sex and you have to practice it too. Likewise, your partner probably does not expect you to have the skills but to be attentive and genuinely present in the situation.

Take care of contraception already before the first time. Using contraception frees up thoughts to enjoy sex more without having to think and worry about the consequences of unprotected sex. The cheapest and easiest available contraceptive method is often a condom and it can also be used as oral sex protection.

Sex does not always go as planned. It is human because it is about people who feel and think. Sex can be painful, erection may dip, ejaculation may happen quickly, or contraception may fail, etc. However, many unexpected situations can be overcome with compassion for yourself and for the other, and reflecting on them with your partner. Warm and friendly humour also often helps. Sometimes, though, outside help is needed, thus you should find out where to get help when your own advice is no longer enough.

 

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