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What things ascribe happy couples?

Published 28.04.2020 - 28.04.2020 klo 14:16 - Written by Written by Jaana Ojanen, Psychologist, the Family Federation of Finland , Family Federation of Finland
Several studies have found similar factors ascribing happy relationships. The happiness of a relationship is not a coincidence, but the tone and quality of the couple's interaction directly influence the atmosphere of the relationship. Hope, positivity and courtesy make the relationship blossom.

Happy couples show a great deal of affection. They are playful and spice life up with humour. They touch each other as they speak.

You can influence how you interact with your partner through your actions. Routinely give a kiss goodbye, exchange greetings, and celebrate the anniversary – small acts increase harmony and understanding.

Happy couples express both positive and negative feelings more boldly.

Expression of emotions and conversation builds connection and keeps the relationship alive. Talk about your day’s events, even though they may seem trivial at times. Sharing life also means sharing small things. Tell your spouse about the things you are excited about and the things that worry you. Listen to your partner and encourage them with questions. Also, express your needs and wishes. Do not expect your partner to guess what goes through your mind. Also talk about sex – what works for you, and the desires that may sometimes make you blush to say out loud. Courage is rewarded between the sheets.

Happy couples show their commitment to one another. They take each other into account even if the other was far away.

Show affection to your partner. Surprise them every now and then, give small gifts, pick flowers from the garden to the bedside table, empty the dishwasher or cook a romantic meal. By doing so, you tell them you were thinking of them when you were apart. When you are away from them, talk openly about your partner and let others notice without asking to whom your heart belongs. Do so even if you were upset or your relationship was going through difficult times. This is how you protect your relationship from outsiders.

Happy couples have common hobbies and enjoy being with each other. Couples that spend a lot of time with each other are also, on average, more satisfied between the sheets.

Spend private time with each other and nurture doing things together even in busy times. Celebrate life’s great and small achievements. Come up with common interests. In addition to relationship time, being alone is also important. Engage in your own things regularly and encourage your partner to do the same.

They provide and offer each other support and help.

Be available in good and bad times. Ask your partner for help when you cannot cope alone. Relying on your partner makes them feel important. Studies have shown that divorced couples are more reserved in expressing their emotions and less sensitive to the needs of the other than those whose marriage lasted.

They resolve conflicts in a constructive way – they apologize and are forgiving and patient.

Tell your partner what makes you happy in the relationship and what makes you sad. Be honest and appreciative and encourage them to do the same. Talking about difficult things is better than sweeping them under the rug. When you are disappointed, do not withdraw – it is toxic. Rejecting a connection and not reacting will cause a strong sense of rejection. The saying “If you cannot say anything positive, do not say anything at all!” is a bad guideline in relationships. According to studies, the frequency of arguments in a relationship does not predict how often the couples end up getting divorced.

Happy couples share housework.

Divide the loads of day-to-day life. Agree on what each does, how carefully and on what schedule. Housework is one of the most common subjects of arguments. Clear agreements avoid unnecessary disputes.

Happy couples avoid trivial arguments and respect each other’s boundaries.

Accept that you are two separate and distinct people. Do not judge your partner when they make mistakes or do things differently. Take responsibility for your own actions and avoid using your partner as a reservoir of your feelings. Be flexible and willing to change or try something new. First, make yourself happy, and your partner’s shortcomings will not bother you as much anymore.

Happy couples spend time with mutual friends.

Build a mutual social network and spend time with each other’s families. This way, your relationship is surrounded by a diverse circle of people who, even in difficult times, help you stay inside the chain and not get lost in the outer rings.

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